Thursday, August 12
Day 1 of our cross-country odyssey — we’re driving to Chicago for a comics convention, wherein we’ll meet some of our favorite creators and a whole assload of people from the Bendis board.
Right now we’re in Pittsburgh. One of my best friends lives here — Mark, the guy who produced Brain Hotel. I’m supposed to be in his wedding in a month, and somehow, by amazing coincidence, we happened to pick the same hotel in which the guests will be staying and the rehearsal dinner is scheduled. That’s just bizarre.
Today we’ll meet up with him and his fiancee for breakfast, then it’s off to Chicago. I think splitting up the trip was a good thing, but there’s still 7 hours ahead of us. I brought plenty of Audible though, so we should be fine. More, undoubtedly, when we arrive.
It feels nice to get away from work for a few days.
Part 1: Getting There Is Half the Trip
I’m told that the tiny corner of highway we saw just off the Pennsylvania Turnpike is pretty representative of Pittsburgh as a whole. If this is the case, I must state my disappointment — it’s just like home, with about 800% more strip malls and old people. Actually, I’ve been to Pittsburgh once before (during the desperate “I’ll drive anywhere to get laid” period of my single life), and there is a bit more to it than Wal Mart and IHOP. I think I saw a Target, too.
Seriously though, Pittsburgh is your typical Pennsynvania town, with all the mild depression and industrial waste that description implies. Much of this state is absolutely gorgeous, but you can’t escape the feeling that they peaked during the coal and steel days of yesteryear and never quite managed to recover. Maybe someday.
Regardless, I’m a pretty simple guy to please, and the existence of a Krispy Kreme two blocks from our hotel was enough for me. I’ve experienced the sugary death that is double-K before, but this was Lauri’s virgin experience with the artery clogging little buggers. You haven’t lived till you’ve had just one glazed Krispy Kreme donut, fresh out of the oven. The phrase “melt in your mouth” just doesn’t do it justice.
Here’s a clever segueway: my friend Mark wouldn’t live if he ate a glazed Krispy Kreme donut fresh out of the oven! Seriously, he’s diabetic or something.
Mark is one of my closest friends. I met him when I was in high school, and we lived together just outside Philadelphia for 2 years. We’ve been talking about collaborating on something creative pretty much since we met — about 15 years ago — and “Brain Hotel” represents the final entertainment splooge from that decade and a half of wanking. So, suffice it to say we’re close.
Mark is getting married in about a month. Unfortunately, this is about the only detail you’d get out of him if you asked him directly. Mark exists in this strange state of perception that allows him amazing focus on computer programming and art school but total cluelessness when it comes to things like his own wedding. I only suspected that I was meant to be part of the wedding party until we visited him and his fiance, and I only just got my invitation Monday night when we got home.
So it was good to see his intended, Chrissy… not just to find out what the hell is going on next month, but also because she seems like a really cool person. (As my relationship with Mark has become a long-distance one, I have only met Chrissy once before.) Mark is continuing a streak carried by all of my high school friends: ending up with mates who are really worthwhile partners. Remember, I knew Mark (and the rest of our little running crew) during that very strange late teens/early 20s period of our lives. This is not, generally, prime dating season. So when I think of any of my pals from that time settling with a girl, I get nervous. We all had our share of romantic disasters in those times, and it’s hard to reconcile those memories with modern versions of those same people, finding nice, stable women. It really is a pleasant surprise.
So we had breakfast with Mark and Chrissy. Mostly we talked about the game, just because we’re both so damned excited about it still. By about noon, full of self-congratulation and pancakes, we said our goodbyes and headed out on our way.
To say that this country is vast is a ridiculous understatement. I have still seen maybe 5% of our great nation, but I am still left with the overwhelming impression of the scale involved. Between my trip to North Dakota a few years ago and this jaunt from the east coast to the midwest, I remain convinced that a person could hide forever among the endless farms and backroads of the midwest. Really, we only went about 800 miles, and across five states (MD, PA, OH, IN and IL), but it really made an impression on me. But then, for someone with ADD, really pronounced boredom tends to have that effect.
We had originally intended to visit a slew of bizarre attractions, as advertised by Roadside America, but it turns out that most of those attractions were situated along the route we didn’t take. I was really looking forward to seeing the Museum of Objects Swallowed By Mental Patients and Dan Quayle’s Birthplace, but it just wasn’t in the cards, I guess. Maybe next time.
By about 7, we were passing out of Gary, Indiana (which has my vote for funniest town name) and into the outer limits of Chicago. The traffic was a bit much, but the slow pace gave us an opportunity to gawk at the city a bit, as our hotel was pretty far in. We caught glimpses of the Sears Tower, but I have to admit that most of the rest of the skyline was not recognizable to me. Thankfully, this would be remedied later in the weekend.
Part 2: Lord and Lady Nerdington
We checked in to the Hyatt O’Hare at about 8PM Central Time. After settling into the room (okay, throwing our luggage down and connecting the laptop to the internet), we decided to wander a bit. We were tired, but our legs could definitely use the movement.
One of the main reasons we’d decided to attend this convention involves the Bendis Board. I’m not sure I’ve properly explained the board in this forum before, so allow me to do so now. Lauri and I are, to no one’s surprise, huge comic book fans. The habit takes me on a 2-hour round trip drive every Wednesday, costing me an average of $40 (plus gas). So comics are really our thing right now. I was into comics for much of my adolescence, but like most fanboys, I lost interest in the early-to-mid-90s, as writing quality fell and “speculators” (those guys who treat comics as investments) took over. But after the surprisingly good Spiderman movie in 2002, I decided to check in on the current state of the art. This led me to a title called Ultimate Spiderman, written by a guy named Brian Michael Bendis. I was immediately hooked on his realistic dialogue, heart-wrenching plots and odd sense of pacing. Within a few months, thanks to Mr. Bendis, I was back off the wagon and I had dragged my wife along with me. A few months after that, she discovered Bendis’ online message board, which was (and remains) a fascinating collection of comics fans, professionals and the home of some of the most bizarre conversations ever. It really has become our home on the internet.
So this Chicago thing wasn’t just an excuse to miss work or buy a bunch of crap we didn’t need (though those are fine reasons in themselves)… it was also a chance to meet the “family” that we’d become a part of over the last year or so.
We did end up meeting several of them on Thursday night. They were loitering on the sidewalk outside the convention center, apparently waiting for other board members to show up. A few people assumed, in true geek fashion, that our mob was some sort of advance line for the convention, but we assured them that we were just clogging the walkways for fun, not for any good practical reason.
The second half of the group did not materialize during the half hour or so that we stood with everyone, and finally our stomachs got the better of us. We excused ourselves and headed back to the Hyatt for an overpriced steak and buffet meal. Turns out this was the best decision to make anyway, as no one showed up for another 2 hours or so, and by that point I probably would have resorted to cannibalism. Yeah, nerd meat is kinda stringy and fatty, but I would have settled for anything by that point.
Anyway, we got to bed at a decent hour so that we could get up at a decent hour and get a jump on the convention events. This turned out to be something of a joke. We waited patiently from about 8:30 until the doors opened at 10, scoring our free bag of worthless crap and being herded through various lines like so much socially awkward cattle. They finally let us in with the impatient throng at 10, but by 10:30 the doors were open to the general public, and anyone could just stroll in without waiting. Still, they did a great job of building our anticipation, especially since we didn’t know what to expect.
Lauri’s never been to anything like this. I’ve been to a couple of Star Trek conventions, but nothing like this. Even the seasoned comic con guys said that the scale of this thing was unlike any other. Imagine a neighborhood with about 500 houses, each one of them populated by a pimply-faced collector of toys and funny books. Now imagine the entire neighborhood having a yard sale on exactly the same day. Only this yard sale is sponsored by big corporations and features famous people from comics and science fiction. Okay, I’m painting a really bad picture of this, I know. Just trust me: I could have easily spent a million dollars at this thing and probably would have wished I’d gotten more. And that is not an exaggeration.
The whole experience was a major sensory overload for us both. I imagine I looked much like I did the first time I visited New York City, all wide-eyed and gullible. Yeah, it was crowded, but it was crowded with our people. I could stop any of these people and find something in common with them within five seconds. Okay, except the weirdos in costume. They’re kinda creepy.
So we bought some stuff, met some of the smaller creators (including a number of up-and-comers from the Bendis board) and bought more stuff. By the time it was all over, we ended up with:
• two “classic DC” action figure sets: villains of the Silver Age and Metal Men (I do love me some cheese)
• a stack of books about 3 feet high, including Alan Moore’s hard-to-find Miracleman series
• Waldorf and Statler (the old hecklers from The Muppet Show) action figures (Lauri got these for me… isn’t she awesome?!)
• the complete run of The Tick animated series on DVD
• 2 t-shirts for me (black Spidey and Green Lantern) and I don’t know how many for Lauri
…and probably a lot more I’m forgetting. I’d mention how much I blew on crap, but there’s a good chance my mother will read this, and I really don’t want to hear that lecture. It was a lot though, believe me.
Part 3: Hobnobbing
Probably the coolest thing about comics is that they are such a cult thing. I mean, sure… I’d love it if mainstream America knew how great Bendis or Millar were, but there’s also a very cool “secret club” feeling that goes with being a comics fan. The practical upshot of this is that some of the biggest stars of the medium turn out to be really down-to-earth people, unlike their counterparts in Hollywood.
I mean, okay… Joss Whedon and Kevin Smith were both at this con, and we had no chance of seeing either of them, precisely because of their success outside of comics. But aside from those two (who both seem like they’re still really down-to-earth, personality-wise), the vast majority of comics writers are just amazingly accessible to just about anyone. Even a schmuck like me!
The first time this point really hit me was as we were walking “Artist Alley” on Friday. There, we spotted David Mack — a fairly successful writer/artist who had done work for Image and Daredevil. He’s also, as my wife continues to point out, a really good looking guy. Neither of us is really into his stuff, unfortunately, but we stopped and chatted with him anyway. Lauri decided to buy one of his books (a whopping $3.95), and once Mack discovered we were from the Bendis board, she had a stack of 6 or 7 freebies, all signed by the creator. He also posed for a couple of pictures with her, and he seemed to take it well when I told him to get his hands off my wife.
Yeah, I was kidding.
One guy we met isn’t quite a comics celebrity yet, but he should be. He goes by the name of Benito Cereno, although we strongly suspect this is a pen name. Benito has been writing backup stories in Robert Kirkman’s Invincible, and between that and his always entertaining posts on the Bendis board, he has earned a solid spot in my mind as a truly entertaining guy. His big pimp project is a graphic novel called Tales from the Bully Pulpit. It’s the story of a time-traveling Teddy Roosevelt, who joins forces with the ghost of Thomas Edison in order to defeat Nazis on Mars. And it’s a lot weirder and more fantastic than my description.
Benito’s a great writer, but he’s also fantastic to meet in person. The guy was just “on” all three times we saw him (though what he was “on” is a subject of much speculation). We talked to him for a good 20 minutes in the Hyatt bar on Friday night, and I laughed my ass clean off. Literally.
Really, this guy is doing things with comics that I haven’t seen anyone else do… or at least, not well. He has fast become one of those people whose work I will deliberately seek out. And if you think I’m an ass-kiss when it comes to him, wait till you hear about our experiences with Bendis.
Bendis had a Q-and-A panel scheduled for 3:30, so we were sure to be in the auditorium by 3. We saved a row of seats up front for our board pals, but there turned out to be several more than we had anticipated. Bendis ended up inviting them all up on stage with him, which just shows what a classy sort of guy he really is. (He actually just invited people from the board who didn’t manage to get a seat, but some people got kinda greedy and gave up their front-row seats to soak up the glory. We felt kind of awkward doing that, and stayed put.)
So Bendis had teased us on the board for weeks about a big announcement that Marvel didn’t want him to talk about. Speculation was rampant, but no one really had any idea what he might say. “We’ve been kicking around this idea,” he began, pausing long enough to let us twist some more, “about a Batman-Daredevil crossover.”
I swear half the geeks in attendance ruined their jeans after that.
Here’s the deal: Batman is obviously a hot property. Marvel’s answer to Batman is Daredevil, which has done quite well in the hands of Kevin Smith, and now with Bendis. A crossover between the two is a fanboy’s wet dream come true. It’s also probably not going to happen.
The announcement sort of backfired, as a representative from DC spoke up from the back of the room. Apparently Marvel’s editor-in-chief said some pretty bad things about their Distinguished Competitors (“DC has Batman and Superman, but doesn’t know what to do with them. It’s like being a porn star with the biggest dick and not being able to get it up.”), and they refuse to play ball until he’s gone. It got kind of ugly after that, and it wasn’t really planned to go down this way, but it turned out to be a really entertaining look behind the curtain of the comics industry. The whole thing sort of threw Bendis off for the rest of the day, which was understandable. But I felt like I’d been there for something really special — something, if you’ll pardon the hyperbole, historic, even. It was pretty cool.
So Bendis shook off the awkwardness and proceeded into his Q&A. He answered a lot of legitimate questions, a few silly ones, and hinted heavily at what was on the horizon. It was a lot of fun, and I got a chance to bust his balls a little. “On your message board,” I said, “you always tease us and say that ‘all will be revealed.’ So we came all this way, found out about one or two new projects, and you teased us on about 15 more!” Not missing a beat, he came back with “but you got to see me get yelled at by a guy from DC!”
After the Q&A, we all herded into the next room over for another Bendis event: a writing seminar. Some of the board people who had been onstage at the previous event kind of insinuated themselves onstage before Bendis even showed up, which I thought was in really bad taste. Being the nice guy that he is, though, he didn’t say anything.
He was still a little flustered by the whole debacle from before, but the man did give some great writing tips. I walked away very much inspired, and I hope this will reflect in the comics work I do in the coming weeks and months.
We adjourned from that, and went our separate ways for a bit. Several of us met up in the bar at the Hyatt that evening, where we saw (once again!) Bendis! I got to shake his hands and chat with him for a second. Two impressions solidified in my mind that evening:
1. This guy is such a class act. He doesn’t even drink… he just came down to see us.
2. His hands are so soft, like baby hands. I wish I wrote comics for a living.
A few other creators were there that night, but I didn’t recognize many of them. I did almost spill my drink on Geoff Johns (Flash, JSA, Green Lantern), but the Bendis thing was the highlight of the evening.
We all met up in the same bar the following night, but the place was impossibly crowded by then. Apparently Joss Whedon was there when we were, and I was so prepared to make an ass of myself and approach him… but I couldn’t find him. Mostly I just stood around trying not to drink, as I had seriously overdone it the night before. (And what sucked was, no one else would drink with me. I felt pretty pathetic about that.)
I guess I left too early on Saturday night, because some pretty awesome stuff happened not long after I went to bed. My board friend Flonk challenged Lou Ferrigno to arm wrestling which he (Flonk) naturally lost. And then Bendis showed up with Millar and a very drunk David Mack. I haven’t seen the pictures yet, but I’m told Mack put on quite a show. I’m sorry I missed it, but not very sorry that Lauri did.
Yeah, I’m kidding.
Part 4: Otters, Assemble!
Sunday we kind of shifted gears a bit. We hit the con one last time, because we still had money in our pockets… but we were out by noon. Our plans for this day centered around the actual city of Chicago, which neither of us had ever seen before. Fortunately, we had a built-in tour guide ready to show us around.
Before the trip, I would have refered to Mike Moylan as “a friend by association.” Data, as he was known in high school due to his resemblance to the Star Trek character, left the area before I joined the social circle that also included Mark. I heard stories about him, and had known him prior to my own “creative awakening,” but I only saw him on two short visits he made to the area about 12 years ago. We shared friends and interests, but we had never really spent much time together. But, thankfully, this trip was an opportunity to fix that.
Data and his wife Wendy picked us up at the hotel and proceeded to show us Chicago. We walked the river front, we saw the Field Museum (in which he and I traded some fantastic MST3K-style heckling), we consumed vast quantities of Italian food, visited the boardwalkish area known as Navy Pier and topped the evening off with drinks in the Hancock Building, which is almost as tall as the Sears Tower but has a bar instead of just an observation deck. Weather-wise, it could not have been a better day: it was about 80, with no humidity and not a cloud in the sky. It definitely made a solid impression on me — Chicago has now earned a spot on my “favorite American cities” list, with DC, Boston and New York.
After about 8 hours of serious bonding, Data and Wendy have now moved solidly into the “friend” category. We’ll see them again at Mark’s wedding in a few weeks, and I can’t wait. They really are a blast.
We were pretty exhausted after our day of sightseeing, but we did manage to hit the Hyatt bar one last time. There, we chatted with a few lingering Bendis board folks, but didn’t see anyone famous. (I guess we got pretty spoiled by this point.) Even though we only spent an hour or two among geeks and geeky things, Sunday managed to be every bit as fun as the rest of the trip, for entirely different reasons. It easily elevated the trip from “fun distraction” to “we definitely have to do this again.”
The drive home was, as expected, long and uneventful. Like a trip to Vegas, I needed to give myself a day to recover from the sensory overload and readjust to my pale, monotonous daily life. We got everything you could ever want out of this vacation: new friends, old friends, cool stuff, famous people and a new location to explore in greater depth at another time. Everyone I told about my vacation reacted with incredulity and scoffing when I told them we were going to Chicago, and I guess it isn’t exactly the place you think of when you think August vacation. But I can’t imagine having more fun anywhere else.