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I freely admit that this is below my usual standards — both in concept and in execution. But I couldn’t help myself. It made me laugh. Perhaps it will make you laugh as well.

Those viking horns apparently symbolize my intent to write a novel in the month of November. And while I may not be as skilled as the literary master of symbolism who devised that logo, I do, indeed, intend to participate in National Novel Writing Month.

You may know this event as “NaNoWriMo.” I have a hard time with this abbreviation — not only because I mistrust shortened forms of things anyway (does the youth of today actually refer to pizza as “za” now? TV wants me to believe they do), but because every time I see it, I think of Gerardo’s 1991 album, Mo Ritmo. You remember Gerardo, don’t you? He produced this moving piece of now-timeless American poetry:

Rico.

Suave.

So, while I respect and admire the spirit of the event, I will not be using its chosen abbreviation. I simply can’t concentrate with that song and that bandana in my head. I think you understand why.

The novel in question has been brewing in my head and in a spiral notebook since somewhere around my sophomore year of high school. I finally began seriously outlining it in 2001, following the publication of Fish Stories. It was my hope to get another book out there in relatively short order, but I was overtaken by world events. See, this one’s pretty strong with the criticism of politics and government, and in that weird period just following 9-11, that felt wrong somehow. So I put the notes away and turned to other things.

Earlier this year, as I wrapped up a number of long-running projects more or less at the same time, I found myself struggling to decide what came next. I wanted to get back on the novel (for some reason, it no longer feels wrong to criticize politics and government. Go figure.), but I’d built up the importance in my head so much that I was scared to go anywhere near it. This was meant to be my magnum opus — the crowning achievement of my life so far, and the culmination of everything I’ve learned about comedy, prose writing and characterization by way of my other projects.

But then I came to my senses and realized that the longer I waited, the more intimidating the thing was going to be. So I’ve spent the last three weeks picking up where I left off in my notes, and beginning an incredibly detailed outline. By November 1, I should have the story basically written, short of actually translating my outline into a pleasing and unmuddled novel. National Novel Writing Month will then help motivate me to do that part of it, and get a serviceable first draft finished before the end of the year.

I have even bigger plans for this thing after that, but I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself. All you need to know is, I’ve been planning a novel for a considerable length of time and in a few weeks I will start writing it. Oh, and you will most likely have the opportunity to experience an early draft of the story if you so choose.

I will provide regular updates regarding my word count when the project begins. It’s possible some other pursuits may be neglected during this period of intense focus, but I’m trying my best to prevent that. I’m something like 5 weeks ahead with my Transformers reviews, so even if I don’t manage to finish one during the entirety of November, I think there’s enough buffer to cover my ass.

This is the biggest and scariest thing I’ve ever done. Believe it or not, I’ve never written anything with this much preparation before — most everything I do is improvised first, then improved later. The concept of writing to an outline is a new and frightening one to me, but I think I’m ready. I think I may actually be able to write a novel like a real grownup. Albeit a grownup wearing symbolic viking horns. Wish me luck.