In the produce section of my local grocery store the other day, I found a mixed bag of apples and oranges. Despite this serious and quite literal detriment to my analogy-making abilities*, I thought this was a really handy idea for me, the oft-undecided consumer of tree-based food. Plus…
My political beliefs generally lean toward “smaller government, fewer silly rules,” but I can’t deny the critical importance of Federal Extra Fanciness Standards. We can’t just let any old product call itself “extra fancy.” That way lies total anarchy. We are still, after all, the United States of America. And its nice to see that there are still some important areas in which we can lead by example. Have you seen what passes for “extra fancy” in Mexico? Shameful. Positively shameful.
Even better: this particular bag of mixed fruit doesn’t even bear the words “extra fancy” anywhere on it beyond that label. They’re just letting us know that, yeah, they could toss around that phrase without fear of legal repercussions, but they choose not to.
And thus, a new personal mantra is born: “greater regulation in our adjectives; more humility in our fruit packaging.” I think that’s a notion we can all get behind — even in an election year.
* I suppose from now on, I’ll have to modify the expression to something like “we’re talking a bag of apples and oranges and a bag of pears and peaches here.”
dammit, we have no fruit fanciness standards here in tacoma. it appears i shall have to travel to the dank environs of seattle for my fruit fanciness needs.